Hello readers. I've been busy driving around the country, so I apologize for the pause in posting. In case you didn't know, the Twilight war has ended. I don't know if you could say there was a winner, because it led to a bit of a spat between me and the other party. I don't really care about it anymore, I'm more worried about whats going on this summer.
At the moment, I'm at my older brother Robert's house. Robert lives in the middle of nowhere, even worse than where I live, but he is awesome enough to make it fun. So far we've gone out for some target practice and hung around the house, but they have kept us from being bored. Us, by the way, is Charlsie and I. We're finally together all the time now, and I have to say it is the best thing in my life.
Anyway, lately I've been traveling. First I had to move out of my dorm. YAY! (not). I moved all of my stuff, with the help of Charlsie's car, to Charlsie's grandparents house, where I stayed for a week until Charlsie's graduation!!! WHOOO HOO! So glad for that. My parents came down and I loaded my junk into their van and a few days after that I went to their house with Charlsie. We spent some time looking for jobs there but we just HAD to visit my brother so here we are. WHOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So.... life is crazy. I may have agreed to let a dog try to kill me. They tell me that it won't get through the bite suit... sounds like a terrible prank... Nah just kidding, it'll be ok. Jake is semi-mad with me, Rachel is randomly clingy and her usual annoying self, Dad is nutso as always, Mom is being driven nutso as always, and Joe... well he's just a younger version of me. I'm so glad to be away from the main part of the family right now because of all the crazy. After the stress of finals, riding in a car 30+ hours within 4 days, the fight with my opponent, stressed out family, and some other family drama I don't want to get into, I am in sore need of some mindless fun and stress reduction therapy (AKA shooting a ton of big guns).
I still have graphs for you guys to see, but I'm not going to put them up unless I get a poll reaction from you guys. Oh, and you need to COMMENT! I feel like you guys aren't listening. Oh well. This is mostly just to improve my writing skills and release tension.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
End o` the (School) Year+ Rant on the AWESOME EPICNESS OF CHARLSIE!
Hello reader. Yes I'm pretty sure you are the only one I have anymore Charlsie. Oh well...
This is the record of my thoughts at the end of the school year. This is the year that Charlsie graduates from high school. Its kind of funny for me. Its really exciting to know that she will be with me for the rest of my life. I know that we're going to be awesome together, and I really cannot wait to marry her!
So I'm going to go on a rant about my girlfriend and how wonderful she is. Anybody who thinks this is too sappy can just get over it.
SO: There are 5 things that make Charlsie so wonderful: She is Beautiful, She is Talented, She is Intelligent, She is Random, and She is Engaging.
To anybody who has never seen Charlsie, the picture below is for you.
Ok now look at her and tell me she's not beautiful. She is awesome to look at. She has an amazing figure, beautiful hair, and wonderful sexy legs (my personal favorite ;) ) If you don't think this body is sexy, you are obviously not into women.
Charlsie is also a very talented individual. Her most evident skill, and the skill through which she will pay for college, and make a career out of, is her singing voice. She is a soprano in several choirs and is likely going to be a section leader in her college choirs. She is also a fantastic soloist who has been recently been asked more and more to perform. She is a wonderful actress who has won many awards for her skills, and is most at home when working with improvisation ensembles. All of this doesn't even to begin to describe her talents. She is an excellent cook who has can throw together an amazing meal out of seemingly nothing. She is good with technology, good with decorating, and has a knack for budgeting and money management. She also seems to be able to find most anything in less than 5 minutes immediately after you haven't found it for about three hours.
I love Charlsie's talents because they are amazing to me. I'm not much of a singer, so her voice talents blow me away every time she sings. She has an angelic voice, and I love to sit next to her and just listen to her practice a song to make it perfect. As for her other talents, they are perfectly complimented to my own, and we both make for a great show when we begin acting. Incidentally, both of us were leading members of out High School Thespian troop. She was Co-president and I was Vice-president. That ought to tell you how good the plays we worked on were!
Charlsie is also a very intelligent woman. Most people define intelligence in two ways: practical and academic. Charlsie is both. Charlsie has impressed me with her ability to learn in the years I've known her. She has learned a great deal academically, and I'm fully confident that she will graduate college with honors, but her greatest achievements involve her learning in practical matters. She has learned a lot about life and people in her life. Without going into too much detail, I will just say that she has been through a lot of abuse, and has come through it with a love for people, a driving need to help people to rise above themselves, and an ability to see through the bull that people put up. She knows how to maneuver through life and people much more adeptly than I, and is simply amazing, at least to me, in her skillful handling of even the most mundane tasks.
I love Charlsie for her intelligence because she is both my equal and my opposite. She is a person who asks "How?" while I am a person who asks "Why?" Charlsie is my equal in academic learning (perhaps even superior, but don't tell her), but she is beyond me in the realms of practical learning. I seriously could not function without her most days. She motivates me and really knows how to work a bureaucratic system. Without Charlsie's amazing brain, I would be nothing.
Nobody who has ever met Charlsie is able to say she is not random. This may sound like something that wouldn't be very lovable, but it is absolutely one of the funniest things about her. Since my youth, I have usually been able to size people up pretty accurately with only a few minutes of contact. Charlsie was not one of those people. When I met Charlsie, she asked me to move out of her seat, and, about 25 minutes later, bit me. She left a bruise that lasted 2 days and we have laughed about it ever since. Charlsie knows better than anyone I know how to bring a smile to anybodies face no matter their troubles. She is has random thoughts which bring out new ideas and make everyone around her laugh out loud.
I love her randomness because it brings a lot of joy into my life. I know that Charlsie will never allow me to be sad or bored for very long because she simply cannot help being amusing and observant. Sometimes, I will take her to new places to hear what she has to say about them. Other times, I will be sitting around in a place that is perfectly familiar talking about something I know pretty much anything about, and suddenly she will throw out a random thought that makes me think of 12ish things and we just spend hours discussing semi-pointless, but quite amusing things.
Charlsie is also very curious and engaging. Her randomness comes from her curiosity and her engagement comes from her talent and intelligence. She is continually thinking and inspiring thoughts in others. This, more than anything, is what caused me to fall in love with her. She constantly challenges people to think in new and exciting ways about things.
I love this because it is amazing to me that she can see things in such different ways from me. I'm pretty boring and straightforward when it comes to viewing the world, but Charlsie sees a beautiful landscape of life and colors that inspire her to say some of the most profound things I've ever heard from a human being.
To conclude, Charlsie is quite literally the most amazing woman I have ever known. I love her beyond anything else. She is the light of my life, the other half of my soul, and if I didn't have her I would not want to live. I LOVE YOU CHARLSIE GREELEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a awesome graduation, and you better have a wonderful summer and a bright future!
Ok, so now you fair readers know about my wonderful fiancee and how awesome she truly is. But if you try to take her from me I will kill you. By burying you in a fire ant hill covered in honey. After skinning you. And breaking your bones. Just saying. Lol.
So I'm going to go on a rant about my girlfriend and how wonderful she is. Anybody who thinks this is too sappy can just get over it.
SO: There are 5 things that make Charlsie so wonderful: She is Beautiful, She is Talented, She is Intelligent, She is Random, and She is Engaging.
To anybody who has never seen Charlsie, the picture below is for you.
Ok now look at her and tell me she's not beautiful. She is awesome to look at. She has an amazing figure, beautiful hair, and wonderful sexy legs (my personal favorite ;) ) If you don't think this body is sexy, you are obviously not into women.
Charlsie is also a very talented individual. Her most evident skill, and the skill through which she will pay for college, and make a career out of, is her singing voice. She is a soprano in several choirs and is likely going to be a section leader in her college choirs. She is also a fantastic soloist who has been recently been asked more and more to perform. She is a wonderful actress who has won many awards for her skills, and is most at home when working with improvisation ensembles. All of this doesn't even to begin to describe her talents. She is an excellent cook who has can throw together an amazing meal out of seemingly nothing. She is good with technology, good with decorating, and has a knack for budgeting and money management. She also seems to be able to find most anything in less than 5 minutes immediately after you haven't found it for about three hours.
I love Charlsie's talents because they are amazing to me. I'm not much of a singer, so her voice talents blow me away every time she sings. She has an angelic voice, and I love to sit next to her and just listen to her practice a song to make it perfect. As for her other talents, they are perfectly complimented to my own, and we both make for a great show when we begin acting. Incidentally, both of us were leading members of out High School Thespian troop. She was Co-president and I was Vice-president. That ought to tell you how good the plays we worked on were!
Charlsie is also a very intelligent woman. Most people define intelligence in two ways: practical and academic. Charlsie is both. Charlsie has impressed me with her ability to learn in the years I've known her. She has learned a great deal academically, and I'm fully confident that she will graduate college with honors, but her greatest achievements involve her learning in practical matters. She has learned a lot about life and people in her life. Without going into too much detail, I will just say that she has been through a lot of abuse, and has come through it with a love for people, a driving need to help people to rise above themselves, and an ability to see through the bull that people put up. She knows how to maneuver through life and people much more adeptly than I, and is simply amazing, at least to me, in her skillful handling of even the most mundane tasks.
I love Charlsie for her intelligence because she is both my equal and my opposite. She is a person who asks "How?" while I am a person who asks "Why?" Charlsie is my equal in academic learning (perhaps even superior, but don't tell her), but she is beyond me in the realms of practical learning. I seriously could not function without her most days. She motivates me and really knows how to work a bureaucratic system. Without Charlsie's amazing brain, I would be nothing.
Nobody who has ever met Charlsie is able to say she is not random. This may sound like something that wouldn't be very lovable, but it is absolutely one of the funniest things about her. Since my youth, I have usually been able to size people up pretty accurately with only a few minutes of contact. Charlsie was not one of those people. When I met Charlsie, she asked me to move out of her seat, and, about 25 minutes later, bit me. She left a bruise that lasted 2 days and we have laughed about it ever since. Charlsie knows better than anyone I know how to bring a smile to anybodies face no matter their troubles. She is has random thoughts which bring out new ideas and make everyone around her laugh out loud.
I love her randomness because it brings a lot of joy into my life. I know that Charlsie will never allow me to be sad or bored for very long because she simply cannot help being amusing and observant. Sometimes, I will take her to new places to hear what she has to say about them. Other times, I will be sitting around in a place that is perfectly familiar talking about something I know pretty much anything about, and suddenly she will throw out a random thought that makes me think of 12ish things and we just spend hours discussing semi-pointless, but quite amusing things.
Charlsie is also very curious and engaging. Her randomness comes from her curiosity and her engagement comes from her talent and intelligence. She is continually thinking and inspiring thoughts in others. This, more than anything, is what caused me to fall in love with her. She constantly challenges people to think in new and exciting ways about things.
I love this because it is amazing to me that she can see things in such different ways from me. I'm pretty boring and straightforward when it comes to viewing the world, but Charlsie sees a beautiful landscape of life and colors that inspire her to say some of the most profound things I've ever heard from a human being.
To conclude, Charlsie is quite literally the most amazing woman I have ever known. I love her beyond anything else. She is the light of my life, the other half of my soul, and if I didn't have her I would not want to live. I LOVE YOU CHARLSIE GREELEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a awesome graduation, and you better have a wonderful summer and a bright future!
Ok, so now you fair readers know about my wonderful fiancee and how awesome she truly is. But if you try to take her from me I will kill you. By burying you in a fire ant hill covered in honey. After skinning you. And breaking your bones. Just saying. Lol.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Twilight Wars Continued.
Hello, my friends. Ok, people need to comment and vote on the poll. Seriously people...? You're going to discourage the awesome rants from flowing...
I have suffered a return volley in the Twilight War. My opponent's points can be seen here: http://pinkhairblog.blogspot.com/
One of her points is that Twilight encourages reading. I must acknowledge her point. On the other hand, if we encourage the reading stupidity and crap, we only fill heads with stupidity and crap. How does that help us? There is plenty of stupidity and crap posing as literature, we don't need to encourage people who are not that bright to be dumber. That might be half the problem with the world.
Her second point concerns Twilight's depiction of relationships. I do not agree. Possibly Edward acts in a respectful, self-sacrificial, and committed way, but Bella is basically a whiny teenager. A whiny teenager is supposed to grow up before she is allowed to have the man of her dreams. If she doesn't the man of her dreams doesn't want her. That's part of why I wish that Edward had pulled a Rhett. "Frankly, my dear, YOU ARE A CLUMSY, WHINY PIECE OF CRAP AND I WAS JUST MESSING WITH YOU SO I COULD EMOTIONALLY CRUSH YOU BEFORE I EAT YOU AND I don't give a damn."
Finally, my opponent thinks that we, as a community, should respect Ms (Mrs? I assume it's Ms if she's writing romance, but it's not a requirement) Meyer for creating a huge fan base as a beginning novelist. We could do that... or we could cry for the poor souls of the world. If something as badly written as the Twilight saga can create a fan base this crazy and stupid, its really easy to see why horrible things happen. Obama gets elected, stupid immigration laws get passed, and even the TODAY show continues to air despite its dedication to making people stupider every morning. And its all made possible by the reducing of quality reading material and education. Thank you, Stephenie Meyer, for being a symbol of all that is wrong with this country and the world.
On a less depressing, but similar, note: Have you seen the movie Superbad? It is terrifying to me that a movie that was so utterly dirty and plain irreverent was so freakin` hilarious. Don't get me wrong, irreverent and dirty humor are the kinds of things I like in a movie, but Superbad doesn't just throw it out there. They load it into a Gatling machine gun and rapid fire it at you for a good hour/ hour and a half, take a minute to resolve the emotional denouement and to reload, then open fire again until the end. I literally had to stop and rewind about 10 minutes because I was still processing the grossness and oddness of the 38th joke (estimated; it was pretty bad) when they hit the 97th. Craziness. Also, those cops would so be fired...
Perhaps this is what's wrong with America even above Twilight.... Nah. That sounds like quitter talk and we all know I'm winning the war. Bwahahaha!
I have good news! My friend Nathaniel has a special lady friend! Whoohoo! Ha! I hope he reads this and blushes. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I'm going to catch a little sleep before church. `Night!
I have suffered a return volley in the Twilight War. My opponent's points can be seen here: http://pinkhairblog.blogspot.com/
One of her points is that Twilight encourages reading. I must acknowledge her point. On the other hand, if we encourage the reading stupidity and crap, we only fill heads with stupidity and crap. How does that help us? There is plenty of stupidity and crap posing as literature, we don't need to encourage people who are not that bright to be dumber. That might be half the problem with the world.
Her second point concerns Twilight's depiction of relationships. I do not agree. Possibly Edward acts in a respectful, self-sacrificial, and committed way, but Bella is basically a whiny teenager. A whiny teenager is supposed to grow up before she is allowed to have the man of her dreams. If she doesn't the man of her dreams doesn't want her. That's part of why I wish that Edward had pulled a Rhett. "Frankly, my dear, YOU ARE A CLUMSY, WHINY PIECE OF CRAP AND I WAS JUST MESSING WITH YOU SO I COULD EMOTIONALLY CRUSH YOU BEFORE I EAT YOU AND I don't give a damn."
Finally, my opponent thinks that we, as a community, should respect Ms (Mrs? I assume it's Ms if she's writing romance, but it's not a requirement) Meyer for creating a huge fan base as a beginning novelist. We could do that... or we could cry for the poor souls of the world. If something as badly written as the Twilight saga can create a fan base this crazy and stupid, its really easy to see why horrible things happen. Obama gets elected, stupid immigration laws get passed, and even the TODAY show continues to air despite its dedication to making people stupider every morning. And its all made possible by the reducing of quality reading material and education. Thank you, Stephenie Meyer, for being a symbol of all that is wrong with this country and the world.
On a less depressing, but similar, note: Have you seen the movie Superbad? It is terrifying to me that a movie that was so utterly dirty and plain irreverent was so freakin` hilarious. Don't get me wrong, irreverent and dirty humor are the kinds of things I like in a movie, but Superbad doesn't just throw it out there. They load it into a Gatling machine gun and rapid fire it at you for a good hour/ hour and a half, take a minute to resolve the emotional denouement and to reload, then open fire again until the end. I literally had to stop and rewind about 10 minutes because I was still processing the grossness and oddness of the 38th joke (estimated; it was pretty bad) when they hit the 97th. Craziness. Also, those cops would so be fired...
Perhaps this is what's wrong with America even above Twilight.... Nah. That sounds like quitter talk and we all know I'm winning the war. Bwahahaha!
I have good news! My friend Nathaniel has a special lady friend! Whoohoo! Ha! I hope he reads this and blushes. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I'm going to catch a little sleep before church. `Night!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Official Declaration of What Shall be Known as The Twilight War. Also, a Rant on the Church (with minor profanity)
I have been challenged. That's right. Challenged. By the very inspiration for this blog. Jenna, I have one thing to say to you. IT IS SO ON!
For those who don't know, Jenna is my brother's girlfriend. I thought we were friends. However, she has decided to tell me that she likes Twilight. That's right... What is an even greater travesty is that Jenna has, in the past, told me that she hates Shakespeare! *cue gasps of horror* I know right?!
So now I must declare war. War upon Twilight, Jenna, and all other fans of perversions of the English language in the name of Truth, Justice, The American Way, and Literature!
As the first volley in the Twilight wars, I will point out that the entire series is a 14 year old girl's wet dream. This is why every person who has liked it that I have known is female, gay, or extremely effeminate. While there is nothing wrong with these things, it is well known fact that these people are a) usually hopeless romantics with no idea of how a healthy relationship is created (but are usually better at maintaining one, go figure) b) easily manipulated emotionally and c) often terrible judges of men. Therefore it stands to reason that they would have no idea how a 200+ year old vampire would actually act and would find Edward Cullen believable, they would find Bella an annoying enough figure that they could hate her and replace her in their fantasies quite easily thereby increasing their enjoyment of the "book", and they would not understand that the vampire is not supposed to be a sparkly, emotional douchebag, but a terrifying, yet charming predator akin to Dracula or Lestat. Oh, and no 200+ vampire would ever set foot in high school again. Not happening.
Now that I have my opening shots we'll move on to other business. I hate FINALS! Actually, I have a love/hate relationship with them. They are a symbol of the end of the semester, but they are also the single most stressful thing about college. Except maybe figuring out what you want to do with your life. Maybe. Most of my life has been consumed by studying for said finals, but I have managed to interact with some of my friends. While studying. *sigh* yeah I hate finals...
On the plus side, Charlsie is about to graduate high school! WOOT! I'm really proud of how she's doing. She wasn't the greatest of students when I met her, but now she is better than me. Go figure... She is SUPER excited about going to live with my parents for the summer with me. We're also planning on meeting up with my brother Robert at his house for a couple of weeks too. He lives in the buttcrack of nowhere, but he's awesome enough to make visiting him one of the best times of my life.
My parents are moving... again. I haven't told you this, but I hate introducing myself. People always ask the question that is weirdest to answer for me. "Where are you from?" I don't know how to answer because I've moved so much in my life. I'm not sure about the count but I know I've lived in 5 states and have moved every year of my high school career except senior year and about every two years before middle school. Why you ask? Its a complicated answer having to do with my dad's jobs and what he wants to do with his life, which I will rant about when I'm done describing my weirdness. Because we've moved so much, the only answer which makes any sense is to say "The U.S." or something equally vague and flippant and hope nobody asks for details.
Anyway, the reason we moved so much is partially because my dad had trouble deciding what he wanted to do with his life, and partially because of the job he picked. I'm not positive what he did before I remember, but I know he worked some food jobs and went to college. I remember, very vaguely, when he and Mom decided to be house parents at a children's home in Oklahoma. If you don't know a children's home is where they send problem kids that need foster homes and they are usually faith based. They did that for a while, but then we moved back to Tulsa my sister was born, then we went to a children's home in Texas and Jake was born there. This was also where we met Robert and my epic hatred of him began. We moved back to Tulsa and Mom and Dad both got jobs dealing with children and mental health at different places. They worked late a lot of the time so I spent my time with my Grandma. Eventually, dad applied for a youth minister position at our church but wasn't hired. Somebody told him about a bible college in Denver, Colorado and Dad decided to go. Whoopee... We were there for the two years that the course took, Robert moved in with us fresh from jail and we had epic sibling rivalry, then Dad got a job as a youth minister in New Mexico. Robert ended up going to the same preaching school and I matured enough that we actually began to like each other. Then Joe came along and we had to move again. This time we moved to Denver and Dad got a job at the church who runs the preaching school. That was great for a while, but eventually Dad was stabbed in the back by the church and we had to leave. We went to Arkansas, but Dad got screwed by the church here too. Now he's being screwed by the church in Oklahoma where he works.
There's my life story in a paragraph. I don't tell you this to make you pity me or anything. I just think that it is important you understand where I'm coming from when you read this next rant.
The church is corporate bullshit. That being said, I do not want anyone to think that I have changed my views on God or the Bible. I simply believe that the church, as a result of being exposed to America, has been corrupted and become a corporation. This has resulted in political atmospheres in church that people like my father, principled and genuinely good, are ill equipped to deal with, and result in good men either playing the fence and not saying what must be said, or speaking out against it and getting the crap beat out of them by both sides.
The reason that the church is dying has nothing to do with dwindling numbers, a shift in the beliefs of the population, left-wing media, right-wing media, UFO's, the Gay Agenda, the Socialist Agenda, Communism, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, or anything except the fact that the church has allowed itself to be corrupted and rot from the inside out. They are unchanging and obsessed with the acquisition of their stupid little power structures that have no bearing outside of a single building.
The simple solution is to get rid of the symbol of corporate corruption. The church building. The church does not need a building. The entire point of the church is the spreading of the gospel, not the gathering of people into one place. What better way to spread the word than with joyful singing waking up the neighbors every Sunday morning and happy people swarming the neighborhoods? What better way is there to free up money to do good things for the community that eliminating the church's utility and maintenance costs? If you have a better idea, I'd love to hear it, but I don't think you will find one.
I apologize for the epic length of this post, but these are things I felt I needed to get off my chest. Plus I had to declare war. I'll not waste more of your time with amusing graphs this time, but I hope that you will read and think about what I've written. I'd love to hear comments.
For those who don't know, Jenna is my brother's girlfriend. I thought we were friends. However, she has decided to tell me that she likes Twilight. That's right... What is an even greater travesty is that Jenna has, in the past, told me that she hates Shakespeare! *cue gasps of horror* I know right?!
So now I must declare war. War upon Twilight, Jenna, and all other fans of perversions of the English language in the name of Truth, Justice, The American Way, and Literature!
As the first volley in the Twilight wars, I will point out that the entire series is a 14 year old girl's wet dream. This is why every person who has liked it that I have known is female, gay, or extremely effeminate. While there is nothing wrong with these things, it is well known fact that these people are a) usually hopeless romantics with no idea of how a healthy relationship is created (but are usually better at maintaining one, go figure) b) easily manipulated emotionally and c) often terrible judges of men. Therefore it stands to reason that they would have no idea how a 200+ year old vampire would actually act and would find Edward Cullen believable, they would find Bella an annoying enough figure that they could hate her and replace her in their fantasies quite easily thereby increasing their enjoyment of the "book", and they would not understand that the vampire is not supposed to be a sparkly, emotional douchebag, but a terrifying, yet charming predator akin to Dracula or Lestat. Oh, and no 200+ vampire would ever set foot in high school again. Not happening.
Now that I have my opening shots we'll move on to other business. I hate FINALS! Actually, I have a love/hate relationship with them. They are a symbol of the end of the semester, but they are also the single most stressful thing about college. Except maybe figuring out what you want to do with your life. Maybe. Most of my life has been consumed by studying for said finals, but I have managed to interact with some of my friends. While studying. *sigh* yeah I hate finals...
On the plus side, Charlsie is about to graduate high school! WOOT! I'm really proud of how she's doing. She wasn't the greatest of students when I met her, but now she is better than me. Go figure... She is SUPER excited about going to live with my parents for the summer with me. We're also planning on meeting up with my brother Robert at his house for a couple of weeks too. He lives in the buttcrack of nowhere, but he's awesome enough to make visiting him one of the best times of my life.
My parents are moving... again. I haven't told you this, but I hate introducing myself. People always ask the question that is weirdest to answer for me. "Where are you from?" I don't know how to answer because I've moved so much in my life. I'm not sure about the count but I know I've lived in 5 states and have moved every year of my high school career except senior year and about every two years before middle school. Why you ask? Its a complicated answer having to do with my dad's jobs and what he wants to do with his life, which I will rant about when I'm done describing my weirdness. Because we've moved so much, the only answer which makes any sense is to say "The U.S." or something equally vague and flippant and hope nobody asks for details.
Anyway, the reason we moved so much is partially because my dad had trouble deciding what he wanted to do with his life, and partially because of the job he picked. I'm not positive what he did before I remember, but I know he worked some food jobs and went to college. I remember, very vaguely, when he and Mom decided to be house parents at a children's home in Oklahoma. If you don't know a children's home is where they send problem kids that need foster homes and they are usually faith based. They did that for a while, but then we moved back to Tulsa my sister was born, then we went to a children's home in Texas and Jake was born there. This was also where we met Robert and my epic hatred of him began. We moved back to Tulsa and Mom and Dad both got jobs dealing with children and mental health at different places. They worked late a lot of the time so I spent my time with my Grandma. Eventually, dad applied for a youth minister position at our church but wasn't hired. Somebody told him about a bible college in Denver, Colorado and Dad decided to go. Whoopee... We were there for the two years that the course took, Robert moved in with us fresh from jail and we had epic sibling rivalry, then Dad got a job as a youth minister in New Mexico. Robert ended up going to the same preaching school and I matured enough that we actually began to like each other. Then Joe came along and we had to move again. This time we moved to Denver and Dad got a job at the church who runs the preaching school. That was great for a while, but eventually Dad was stabbed in the back by the church and we had to leave. We went to Arkansas, but Dad got screwed by the church here too. Now he's being screwed by the church in Oklahoma where he works.
There's my life story in a paragraph. I don't tell you this to make you pity me or anything. I just think that it is important you understand where I'm coming from when you read this next rant.
The church is corporate bullshit. That being said, I do not want anyone to think that I have changed my views on God or the Bible. I simply believe that the church, as a result of being exposed to America, has been corrupted and become a corporation. This has resulted in political atmospheres in church that people like my father, principled and genuinely good, are ill equipped to deal with, and result in good men either playing the fence and not saying what must be said, or speaking out against it and getting the crap beat out of them by both sides.
The reason that the church is dying has nothing to do with dwindling numbers, a shift in the beliefs of the population, left-wing media, right-wing media, UFO's, the Gay Agenda, the Socialist Agenda, Communism, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, or anything except the fact that the church has allowed itself to be corrupted and rot from the inside out. They are unchanging and obsessed with the acquisition of their stupid little power structures that have no bearing outside of a single building.
The simple solution is to get rid of the symbol of corporate corruption. The church building. The church does not need a building. The entire point of the church is the spreading of the gospel, not the gathering of people into one place. What better way to spread the word than with joyful singing waking up the neighbors every Sunday morning and happy people swarming the neighborhoods? What better way is there to free up money to do good things for the community that eliminating the church's utility and maintenance costs? If you have a better idea, I'd love to hear it, but I don't think you will find one.
I apologize for the epic length of this post, but these are things I felt I needed to get off my chest. Plus I had to declare war. I'll not waste more of your time with amusing graphs this time, but I hope that you will read and think about what I've written. I'd love to hear comments.
Friday, April 23, 2010
More Graphs! Oh Yeah, and I Rant About Twilight Sucking in this One.
Hello any loyal readers I still have. So I haven't posted very much lately. Sorry about that. If you guys commented more I'd probably be in a mood more often. A lot of times I feel like I'm just talking to a wall here... By the way, if any of you actually read the post about the lecture, I'd really like to know what you thought about what the guy said, if I was a crappy summarizer, or if you have questions. If not, well ok then. Ha ha!
My week has been BORING! No awkward bathroom situations, no random walking in on Brandon doing something weird, and, worst of all, no random T.V. shows inducing rants! Just classes and the occasional unremarkable joke. *sigh* On the plus side, I've been somewhat productive this week. I've started working on a paper at least 2 weeks before its due, I'm studying like a nerd for history, and I'm even considering going to the library to study with *gasp* other people *cue "Twilight Zone Theme"*
So is it weird that typing "Twilight" a minute ago triggered an instinctive gag reflex? The correct answer is NO! The Twilight books are wastes of paper that are not worth wiping my ass with. *gasp at curse word from stage left* You heard me. I can say this with all necessary vehemence now because I was forced, with the threat of never kissing me again, to read all four pathetic, appalling, and more-disgusting-than-ball-sweat uses of the English language by Charlsie. You may now form an angry mob and surround her house. Oh and I don't care how brooding, broken, and sparkly he is! A 200+ old vampire would never fall in love with a pathetic waste of flesh like that girl! She is far too immature. She is far too stupid. She causes way too many problems. She is his food. Sorry folks, I can't deal with women my age most days and there is no way a mature vampire would either. Especially when he could eat her and put everyone, including the put-upon boyfriends forced to read that garbage, out their misery.
Ok. Now that I've bashed Twilight, how about some graphs? No? Anyone? Too bad.
Ok. Charlsie better love this one. It has two of her favorite music people on it, and the other two I'm pretty sure she likes/would like. I personally just put this here for her. It was only mildly amusing to me, but I don't have the emotions invested in these bands some people do.
This... is... so...true... Except for the teenage girl part. I have no experience with that. I know that when I started listening to rock and/or heavy metal, my Mom and Dad sat me down and had a serious talk with me about the kind of messages I was listening to. It was absolutely hilarious. This is the first time I remember smarting off to my parents and not getting hit in the back of the head for it. Its probably not, but its the first I remember. Basically I said, "Don't the old rock and country songs you listen to have a lot of drinking, partying, and cheating on spouses in them? Besides, most of the metal bands I'm listening to have strong messages against suicide, drinking, and have strong Christian overtones (not so true anymore but it was at the time)." speechless parents= Most... fun... ever! Anyway, I now listen to lots of music and have not once felt the urge to eat a baby. The others maybe but that happened a lot before I was even off of "wheels on the bus". Except the teenage girl thing. Only felt that urge when I realized that being a dude sucks. It went away 13 and 1/2 seconds later when I realized being a girl sucks even worse. Situation= dude getting treated terribly by a girl followed by her screaming in pain because of her period.
So those are my music related graphs. I hope you enjoyed. And what is the deal with airline food anyway?
My week has been BORING! No awkward bathroom situations, no random walking in on Brandon doing something weird, and, worst of all, no random T.V. shows inducing rants! Just classes and the occasional unremarkable joke. *sigh* On the plus side, I've been somewhat productive this week. I've started working on a paper at least 2 weeks before its due, I'm studying like a nerd for history, and I'm even considering going to the library to study with *gasp* other people *cue "Twilight Zone Theme"*
So is it weird that typing "Twilight" a minute ago triggered an instinctive gag reflex? The correct answer is NO! The Twilight books are wastes of paper that are not worth wiping my ass with. *gasp at curse word from stage left* You heard me. I can say this with all necessary vehemence now because I was forced, with the threat of never kissing me again, to read all four pathetic, appalling, and more-disgusting-than-ball-sweat uses of the English language by Charlsie. You may now form an angry mob and surround her house. Oh and I don't care how brooding, broken, and sparkly he is! A 200+ old vampire would never fall in love with a pathetic waste of flesh like that girl! She is far too immature. She is far too stupid. She causes way too many problems. She is his food. Sorry folks, I can't deal with women my age most days and there is no way a mature vampire would either. Especially when he could eat her and put everyone, including the put-upon boyfriends forced to read that garbage, out their misery.
Ok. Now that I've bashed Twilight, how about some graphs? No? Anyone? Too bad.
Ok. Charlsie better love this one. It has two of her favorite music people on it, and the other two I'm pretty sure she likes/would like. I personally just put this here for her. It was only mildly amusing to me, but I don't have the emotions invested in these bands some people do.
This... is... so...true... Except for the teenage girl part. I have no experience with that. I know that when I started listening to rock and/or heavy metal, my Mom and Dad sat me down and had a serious talk with me about the kind of messages I was listening to. It was absolutely hilarious. This is the first time I remember smarting off to my parents and not getting hit in the back of the head for it. Its probably not, but its the first I remember. Basically I said, "Don't the old rock and country songs you listen to have a lot of drinking, partying, and cheating on spouses in them? Besides, most of the metal bands I'm listening to have strong messages against suicide, drinking, and have strong Christian overtones (not so true anymore but it was at the time)." speechless parents= Most... fun... ever! Anyway, I now listen to lots of music and have not once felt the urge to eat a baby. The others maybe but that happened a lot before I was even off of "wheels on the bus". Except the teenage girl thing. Only felt that urge when I realized that being a dude sucks. It went away 13 and 1/2 seconds later when I realized being a girl sucks even worse. Situation= dude getting treated terribly by a girl followed by her screaming in pain because of her period.
So those are my music related graphs. I hope you enjoyed. And what is the deal with airline food anyway?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Weekend, and Fun with Graphs.
Its official. I have too much time on my hands. I spent 3-4 hours last night looking at a website that used graphs to make amusing points. Sigh if you wonder if you are completely weird sometimes! *sigh* In any case, most of this post is going to be sharing some of these with you so I hope you can read a graph!
As for my weekend, it was pretty tame. I got to spend a lot of time with Charlsie, I got to cook a little this weekend (bacon and egg sandwiches with toasted bread. Totally yummy), and I finished the third season of Veronica Mars and was COMPLETELY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE NETWORK BECAUSE THEY ENDED IT WITH A CLIFFHANGER AND BASICALLY GAVE EVERYONE WHO WATCHED IT THE FINGER!!!! Not that you care... but I'm going to rant about that for a minute.
Why do networks never realize what they have? I did research on it (I know, I'm a complete nerd) and the ratings for VMars were not only going up every consecutive season, but the ratings went up every episode in the third season. Basically, it was obvious that there was a growing fan base that wanted to know what was going to happen. But somebody at the network killed the show. AHHHHHH! Why!?!?!?!?! Then there was Firefly, I don't know how many of you watched that, but it was a western style sci-fi adventure that was nowhere near as crappy as that makes it sound. The characters were gold, the story had mucho potential, and it had some of the best graphics and sound that I have seen in a T.V. show in a long time. First of all, the network, Fox this time, made them air episodes out of order. Then it put the show in a crappy time slot. Then it moved the show between 3 crappy time slots and didn't show it consecutive weeks. Add that to the fact that the show is slightly confusing if you don't a) know sci-fi lingo or b) watch it from the beginning, and you have a recipe for a show doomed to failure. In spite of this, Firefly had such a following that the creator, Joss Whedon who is arguably best know for having created Buffy the Vampire slayer, made a high-budget movie in an attempt to tie up the loose ends the show had left in its 14 episode run. Why do network execs hate me? I don't know, but I'm going to hope they hear my stern words for them: OPEN YOUR EYES!
Ok rant over. Now on to the funny stuff. Consider this graph:
Yes, we all know about the classic, unwritten rule of hide and seek. Perhaps its the childlike excitement, maybe its all the activity, but it never fails. When you finally find the absolute perfect place to hide, you suddenly must pee. You could have been deprived of water for the last 13 days and this rule will still be true every time.
Now consider this:
Whomever made this flow chart is a personal idol of mine. Sarcasm? Check. Random idea? Check. Well executed? Check. Confusing enough to those who wouldn't have the first clue how to deal with it yet has the possibility of educating them? Check check. This is the first and only flow chart that has ever made me choke on a drink. That is how good it is.
Well for some reason I can't upload more of these to share with you. Just as well I guess. Don't want to over do the jokes. I'll share some more next post.
As for my weekend, it was pretty tame. I got to spend a lot of time with Charlsie, I got to cook a little this weekend (bacon and egg sandwiches with toasted bread. Totally yummy), and I finished the third season of Veronica Mars and was COMPLETELY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE NETWORK BECAUSE THEY ENDED IT WITH A CLIFFHANGER AND BASICALLY GAVE EVERYONE WHO WATCHED IT THE FINGER!!!! Not that you care... but I'm going to rant about that for a minute.
Why do networks never realize what they have? I did research on it (I know, I'm a complete nerd) and the ratings for VMars were not only going up every consecutive season, but the ratings went up every episode in the third season. Basically, it was obvious that there was a growing fan base that wanted to know what was going to happen. But somebody at the network killed the show. AHHHHHH! Why!?!?!?!?! Then there was Firefly, I don't know how many of you watched that, but it was a western style sci-fi adventure that was nowhere near as crappy as that makes it sound. The characters were gold, the story had mucho potential, and it had some of the best graphics and sound that I have seen in a T.V. show in a long time. First of all, the network, Fox this time, made them air episodes out of order. Then it put the show in a crappy time slot. Then it moved the show between 3 crappy time slots and didn't show it consecutive weeks. Add that to the fact that the show is slightly confusing if you don't a) know sci-fi lingo or b) watch it from the beginning, and you have a recipe for a show doomed to failure. In spite of this, Firefly had such a following that the creator, Joss Whedon who is arguably best know for having created Buffy the Vampire slayer, made a high-budget movie in an attempt to tie up the loose ends the show had left in its 14 episode run. Why do network execs hate me? I don't know, but I'm going to hope they hear my stern words for them: OPEN YOUR EYES!
Ok rant over. Now on to the funny stuff. Consider this graph:
Yes, we all know about the classic, unwritten rule of hide and seek. Perhaps its the childlike excitement, maybe its all the activity, but it never fails. When you finally find the absolute perfect place to hide, you suddenly must pee. You could have been deprived of water for the last 13 days and this rule will still be true every time.Now consider this:
Whomever made this flow chart is a personal idol of mine. Sarcasm? Check. Random idea? Check. Well executed? Check. Confusing enough to those who wouldn't have the first clue how to deal with it yet has the possibility of educating them? Check check. This is the first and only flow chart that has ever made me choke on a drink. That is how good it is.
Well for some reason I can't upload more of these to share with you. Just as well I guess. Don't want to over do the jokes. I'll share some more next post.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Lecture I Went to Last Night.
Last night, I attended a lecture. It is a part of a lecture series given every semester at my college in honor of one of the teachers. She is a black woman who overcame a lot of adversity in her quest to become a professor. As such, all these lectures are related to African/African-American studies. Readers, I am a half-white, half-Mexican male who looks and acts like a white guy. Honestly, growing up in the generation I have, race has never been an issue for me. I get really tired of hearing older people harp on it. Don't get me wrong, I understand why the problem exists, and I understand that its not something people, especially older black folks, get over, but what I tire of is older people expecting people who have learned to continue to play by their rules and jump hoops that they have to. Especially militant old black people like the Reverend Al Sharpton.
Seriously people? I probably can't even express my opinion about this without making somebody upset. That is what upsets me the most about it. When a person cannot express his opinion of the way certain other people effect them, political correctness has gone too far.
In any case, I just wanted you to know that because when I saw the title of the lecture, "Where do we go from here?" Race in the Age of Obama, I was turned off. I didn't want to hear another lecture, literal this time, on race and how important it is that we realize its unimportant (even though by making a big deal out of that you are making it a big deal... hmm...). So I went in to this lecture thinking to myself that I was going to take notes and find everything that could be argued with and question him about it.
My. Mind. Was. Blown.
In all seriousness. Blown. Away. This man presented a lecture which was truly eye-opening to me. I learned for the first time in a very long time, and I must say it felt good.
The speaker, from Princeton by the way, began by asking a simple question buried under humongous words that I had to remember my Latin roots to understand. When he saw it went over our heads, or maybe he planned it that way to jumpstart thinking, he rephrased it. "Now that we have a black President, where do we go from here?" From this starting point, he launched into a discussion of M.L.K, Baldwin, and G.H. Mead. From M.L.K, he took the struggle of civil rights and the transitional period of its realization. From Baldwin, he took the ideas of how history effects the future and what black people and white people feel about each other. From Mead, he took the sociological perspective and the fact that the past frames the present, and that with out past, present becomes empty. Long story short he addressed black people's feelings of not belonging to the nation, white people's feelings of guilt and quest for redemption, and how those things have led to the era we have now: a generation who has not experienced Jim Crow.
Once he established this basic information about the past, he moved on to the present. He talked about how Obama's election effected how "blackness" was practiced, how his behavior in office is ironically slightly detrimental to race relations, and how this cannot be the end. He went back to Baldwin's description of how white people would try to make black people "blank" because that was the next-best thing to white. This idea is applied to Obama because if he attempts to address racial issues, such as the crime rates and ghettos, he becomes a "black" president and can no longer represent ALL of America. I actually hadn't thought of that before and had admittedly fallen into that very trap of thinking. He talked about an essay called "What America would be without Blacks" which stated that the titular ideal is the American Fantasy, because America would never have had to face its "Democratic Principals vs. Undemocratic Practices" demon. This is why white people try to "blank" out black people.
Finally, he moved on to the future. He put it on our shoulders. He told us that the point of remembering the past is not to cause guilt, but neither can we run past the wounds of the past era simply by electing a black president. There is still work to be done when it comes to making black people no longer second rate citizens. Poverty is a problem. There is a vicious cycle of culture that perpetuates the second class attitude. It is not equal yet. But, and this made him completely respectable in my eyes, he also said that we cannot linger on those wounds of the past, because to do so is to encourage guilt, defensiveness, and divisiveness; the very opposite of the "perfect union" our principles espouse.
It was the best lecture I have ever attended. The questions afterward were useful in clearing up a lot of things he said. One I thought was utterly ridiculous was a question regarding the American flag lapel pin that Obama now wears. It was treated as a serious topic of discussion, and I sat there thinking, "ok, you people, including the critics who brought it up in the first place, have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much time on your hands if you think that simple wardrobe choices should be analyzed."
In any case, I thought you should know about this wonderful lecture and be treated to a terrible summery of it. Honestly, not much has changed about me. I don't think I need to behave any differently. Rather, what is different is that I now a) respect Obama as a person a lot more b) think about the past in a different way and c) avoid pitfalls of thought like the one about Obama being a "black" president.
I hope this wasn't a snooze fest for you. I know I don't have anywhere near the kind of delivery that guy had, but I hope I got across the general idea of what he meant.
Seriously people? I probably can't even express my opinion about this without making somebody upset. That is what upsets me the most about it. When a person cannot express his opinion of the way certain other people effect them, political correctness has gone too far.
In any case, I just wanted you to know that because when I saw the title of the lecture, "Where do we go from here?" Race in the Age of Obama, I was turned off. I didn't want to hear another lecture, literal this time, on race and how important it is that we realize its unimportant (even though by making a big deal out of that you are making it a big deal... hmm...). So I went in to this lecture thinking to myself that I was going to take notes and find everything that could be argued with and question him about it.
My. Mind. Was. Blown.
In all seriousness. Blown. Away. This man presented a lecture which was truly eye-opening to me. I learned for the first time in a very long time, and I must say it felt good.
The speaker, from Princeton by the way, began by asking a simple question buried under humongous words that I had to remember my Latin roots to understand. When he saw it went over our heads, or maybe he planned it that way to jumpstart thinking, he rephrased it. "Now that we have a black President, where do we go from here?" From this starting point, he launched into a discussion of M.L.K, Baldwin, and G.H. Mead. From M.L.K, he took the struggle of civil rights and the transitional period of its realization. From Baldwin, he took the ideas of how history effects the future and what black people and white people feel about each other. From Mead, he took the sociological perspective and the fact that the past frames the present, and that with out past, present becomes empty. Long story short he addressed black people's feelings of not belonging to the nation, white people's feelings of guilt and quest for redemption, and how those things have led to the era we have now: a generation who has not experienced Jim Crow.
Once he established this basic information about the past, he moved on to the present. He talked about how Obama's election effected how "blackness" was practiced, how his behavior in office is ironically slightly detrimental to race relations, and how this cannot be the end. He went back to Baldwin's description of how white people would try to make black people "blank" because that was the next-best thing to white. This idea is applied to Obama because if he attempts to address racial issues, such as the crime rates and ghettos, he becomes a "black" president and can no longer represent ALL of America. I actually hadn't thought of that before and had admittedly fallen into that very trap of thinking. He talked about an essay called "What America would be without Blacks" which stated that the titular ideal is the American Fantasy, because America would never have had to face its "Democratic Principals vs. Undemocratic Practices" demon. This is why white people try to "blank" out black people.
Finally, he moved on to the future. He put it on our shoulders. He told us that the point of remembering the past is not to cause guilt, but neither can we run past the wounds of the past era simply by electing a black president. There is still work to be done when it comes to making black people no longer second rate citizens. Poverty is a problem. There is a vicious cycle of culture that perpetuates the second class attitude. It is not equal yet. But, and this made him completely respectable in my eyes, he also said that we cannot linger on those wounds of the past, because to do so is to encourage guilt, defensiveness, and divisiveness; the very opposite of the "perfect union" our principles espouse.
It was the best lecture I have ever attended. The questions afterward were useful in clearing up a lot of things he said. One I thought was utterly ridiculous was a question regarding the American flag lapel pin that Obama now wears. It was treated as a serious topic of discussion, and I sat there thinking, "ok, you people, including the critics who brought it up in the first place, have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much time on your hands if you think that simple wardrobe choices should be analyzed."
In any case, I thought you should know about this wonderful lecture and be treated to a terrible summery of it. Honestly, not much has changed about me. I don't think I need to behave any differently. Rather, what is different is that I now a) respect Obama as a person a lot more b) think about the past in a different way and c) avoid pitfalls of thought like the one about Obama being a "black" president.
I hope this wasn't a snooze fest for you. I know I don't have anywhere near the kind of delivery that guy had, but I hope I got across the general idea of what he meant.
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