Well I Did It Again.

I cannot believe you people, you're supposed to keep me honest and doing these! Nah, just kidding. Seriously, I've been a little busy to be writing. Between job hunting and catching up with friends, I'm always exhausted.

Charlsie and I have been spending our nights with our friends, our mornings asleep, and our afternoons looking for work and waiting for friends to gather. Its not the most pleasant of existences, but it would be absolutely unbearable without Charlsie. She is, however, starting to lose her cool a little. I think that it's being around me, admittedly annoying, all the time. She would never admit to it though so I guess its academic.

As for the novel I promised, it is in progress, but it will probably be that way for a while.

Anyway, I don't really have much to share with you. My grandparents on my mother's side are both in the hospital with kidney failure, my parents are struggling to make ends meet, and I am having money issues as well. That sounds really whiny when I read it, but I promise you it is not. My grandparents are old, it happens. My parents aren't the best savers or the best spenders, `sall good. As for my money issues, I'm ok. I've always been very lucky that way. God has provided for me every time I needed it, so I'm not too worried. I know that some of you who read probably don't believe in God, but I have grown up with Him in my life and feel a personal relationship with Him. My favorite verse is from the book of Psalms and I find that it is helpful to me when I start feeling put upon by the world.


¹ How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

⁴ my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

⁶ I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

Psalm 13

This Psalm always reminds me that when things are down, things have been up in the past, and will be again. The Lord is good to me, and he will be again.

Ok... religious moment over. I know my sister-in-law reads my blog, so I'm posting a pic for her to show to my brother. I believe that, if he could, he would do this to his weapon:

Looks like fun huh? By the way, if somebody could tell me what weapon that is once all the attachments have been removed, I'd much appreciate.

Finally, I grant you all a vision of DEATH!

Scary isn't it. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok done.

It's Been a While...

Well, I've ended up going most of this summer without writing on this blog huh? I guess that's stating the obvious, but I really don't know what to say. I just haven't felt like writing here since that whole spat with Jake's girlfriend. Not that I'm blaming her, I'm just saying that I'm wary of being open I guess. Maybe that's a good thing, but I'm not thinking it is. I'm an introvert by nature, so I thought this thing was going to be a very good way to make myself more open and accessible to people. Perhaps I'm just using those issues as a crutch and an excuse to revert back to my old comfort zone. In any case, it stops here.

Sunday, I participated in a political panel/focus group. I did it for the money (never did get a job by the way), but I think I got more out of it than the 50 bucks they handed out at the end. I really put my opinion out there in the interest of accuracy, and I fully expected to start an argument at times. Instead, the group simply listened to my opinion and said what they thought. It was great.

Don't get me wrong, I love to argue. Charlsie would probably tell you that it's my favorite pastime. However, the simple acceptance of my opinion as valid really did a lot for my self-confidence. So I guess that's why I'm back here again. I'm getting back on the horse and it feels great!

So. Quick summary of the summer (lol punny... sort of..). Charlsie and I had fun at my brother's house (GOT TO SHOOT A 50 BMG!!!!!!) and left early for an interview. Long story short, neither Charlsie not I got a summer job, but we did join my Grandpa in a part-time salesman's gig selling Rainbow cleaning systems (great machines by the way). We hung around the house, cleaned, watched my cousins and siblings, drove siblings places, and basically had fun and ate. I gained some weight doing that (pretty much a guarantee at Grandma's house...) and now we are back at home and attempting to remedy that and get jobs near school before all the college kids show up. *SIGH*

In addition, Charlsie and I have now set a date for our wedding. May 28, 2011. WOOT!

I think that's what I got for ya as far as summary goes. On to the graphs that are woefully overdue by now.

This. Graph. Is. So. True. Period.

Seriously, whomever created this is one of my best friends. Thank you, God for there being someone else right minded on this planet! ANYWAY... I want the conspicuous position of Twilight pointed out. Especially since I just HAD to see it.... thank you laws of the universe which state woman must be happy if she's going to marry you... whatever happened to good `ole selling your daughters to the highest bidder?

This graph made me laugh out loud literally. You know how people type "lol" and don't really laugh out loud 98% of the time? Yeah I laughed out loud. I love Shakespeare. It is classic literature and drama in my book. and those are quite literally my two favorite things. In any case, just in case you don't get it, the first one is "One may smile, and smile and be a villain." from Hamlet. Figure out the rest by reading them.

I'll quit for now, but I promise anybody who is still reading this that I will post more often now. I apologize for my moment of weakness, but to make up for it, I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to write part of a novel and open it up for criticism. So look forward to that.

Summer Has Begun.

Hello readers. I've been busy driving around the country, so I apologize for the pause in posting. In case you didn't know, the Twilight war has ended. I don't know if you could say there was a winner, because it led to a bit of a spat between me and the other party. I don't really care about it anymore, I'm more worried about whats going on this summer.

At the moment, I'm at my older brother Robert's house. Robert lives in the middle of nowhere, even worse than where I live, but he is awesome enough to make it fun. So far we've gone out for some target practice and hung around the house, but they have kept us from being bored. Us, by the way, is Charlsie and I. We're finally together all the time now, and I have to say it is the best thing in my life.

Anyway, lately I've been traveling. First I had to move out of my dorm. YAY! (not). I moved all of my stuff, with the help of Charlsie's car, to Charlsie's grandparents house, where I stayed for a week until Charlsie's graduation!!! WHOOO HOO! So glad for that. My parents came down and I loaded my junk into their van and a few days after that I went to their house with Charlsie. We spent some time looking for jobs there but we just HAD to visit my brother so here we are. WHOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So.... life is crazy. I may have agreed to let a dog try to kill me. They tell me that it won't get through the bite suit... sounds like a terrible prank... Nah just kidding, it'll be ok. Jake is semi-mad with me, Rachel is randomly clingy and her usual annoying self, Dad is nutso as always, Mom is being driven nutso as always, and Joe... well he's just a younger version of me. I'm so glad to be away from the main part of the family right now because of all the crazy. After the stress of finals, riding in a car 30+ hours within 4 days, the fight with my opponent, stressed out family, and some other family drama I don't want to get into, I am in sore need of some mindless fun and stress reduction therapy (AKA shooting a ton of big guns).

I still have graphs for you guys to see, but I'm not going to put them up unless I get a poll reaction from you guys. Oh, and you need to COMMENT! I feel like you guys aren't listening. Oh well. This is mostly just to improve my writing skills and release tension.

End o` the (School) Year+ Rant on the AWESOME EPICNESS OF CHARLSIE!

Hello reader. Yes I'm pretty sure you are the only one I have anymore Charlsie. Oh well...

This is the record of my thoughts at the end of the school year. This is the year that Charlsie graduates from high school. Its kind of funny for me. Its really exciting to know that she will be with me for the rest of my life. I know that we're going to be awesome together, and I really cannot wait to marry her!

So I'm going to go on a rant about my girlfriend and how wonderful she is. Anybody who thinks this is too sappy can just get over it.

SO: There are 5 things that make Charlsie so wonderful: She is Beautiful, She is Talented, She is Intelligent, She is Random, and She is Engaging.

To anybody who has never seen Charlsie, the picture below is for you.


Ok now look at her and tell me she's not beautiful. She is awesome to look at. She has an amazing figure, beautiful hair, and wonderful sexy legs (my personal favorite ;) ) If you don't think this body is sexy, you are obviously not into women.

Charlsie is also a very talented individual. Her most evident skill, and the skill through which she will pay for college, and make a career out of, is her singing voice. She is a soprano in several choirs and is likely going to be a section leader in her college choirs. She is also a fantastic soloist who has been recently been asked more and more to perform. She is a wonderful actress who has won many awards for her skills, and is most at home when working with improvisation ensembles. All of this doesn't even to begin to describe her talents. She is an excellent cook who has can throw together an amazing meal out of seemingly nothing. She is good with technology, good with decorating, and has a knack for budgeting and money management. She also seems to be able to find most anything in less than 5 minutes immediately after you haven't found it for about three hours.

I love Charlsie's talents because they are amazing to me. I'm not much of a singer, so her voice talents blow me away every time she sings. She has an angelic voice, and I love to sit next to her and just listen to her practice a song to make it perfect. As for her other talents, they are perfectly complimented to my own, and we both make for a great show when we begin acting. Incidentally, both of us were leading members of out High School Thespian troop. She was Co-president and I was Vice-president. That ought to tell you how good the plays we worked on were!

Charlsie is also a very intelligent woman. Most people define intelligence in two ways: practical and academic. Charlsie is both. Charlsie has impressed me with her ability to learn in the years I've known her. She has learned a great deal academically, and I'm fully confident that she will graduate college with honors, but her greatest achievements involve her learning in practical matters. She has learned a lot about life and people in her life. Without going into too much detail, I will just say that she has been through a lot of abuse, and has come through it with a love for people, a driving need to help people to rise above themselves, and an ability to see through the bull that people put up. She knows how to maneuver through life and people much more adeptly than I, and is simply amazing, at least to me, in her skillful handling of even the most mundane tasks.

I love Charlsie for her intelligence because she is both my equal and my opposite. She is a person who asks "How?" while I am a person who asks "Why?" Charlsie is my equal in academic learning (perhaps even superior, but don't tell her), but she is beyond me in the realms of practical learning. I seriously could not function without her most days. She motivates me and really knows how to work a bureaucratic system. Without Charlsie's amazing brain, I would be nothing.

Nobody who has ever met Charlsie is able to say she is not random. This may sound like something that wouldn't be very lovable, but it is absolutely one of the funniest things about her. Since my youth, I have usually been able to size people up pretty accurately with only a few minutes of contact. Charlsie was not one of those people. When I met Charlsie, she asked me to move out of her seat, and, about 25 minutes later, bit me. She left a bruise that lasted 2 days and we have laughed about it ever since. Charlsie knows better than anyone I know how to bring a smile to anybodies face no matter their troubles. She is has random thoughts which bring out new ideas and make everyone around her laugh out loud.

I love her randomness because it brings a lot of joy into my life. I know that Charlsie will never allow me to be sad or bored for very long because she simply cannot help being amusing and observant. Sometimes, I will take her to new places to hear what she has to say about them. Other times, I will be sitting around in a place that is perfectly familiar talking about something I know pretty much anything about, and suddenly she will throw out a random thought that makes me think of 12ish things and we just spend hours discussing semi-pointless, but quite amusing things.

Charlsie is also very curious and engaging. Her randomness comes from her curiosity and her engagement comes from her talent and intelligence. She is continually thinking and inspiring thoughts in others. This, more than anything, is what caused me to fall in love with her. She constantly challenges people to think in new and exciting ways about things.

I love this because it is amazing to me that she can see things in such different ways from me. I'm pretty boring and straightforward when it comes to viewing the world, but Charlsie sees a beautiful landscape of life and colors that inspire her to say some of the most profound things I've ever heard from a human being.

To conclude, Charlsie is quite literally the most amazing woman I have ever known. I love her beyond anything else. She is the light of my life, the other half of my soul, and if I didn't have her I would not want to live. I LOVE YOU CHARLSIE GREELEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a awesome graduation, and you better have a wonderful summer and a bright future!

Ok, so now you fair readers know about my wonderful fiancee and how awesome she truly is. But if you try to take her from me I will kill you. By burying you in a fire ant hill covered in honey. After skinning you. And breaking your bones. Just saying. Lol.

Twilight Wars Continued.

Hello, my friends. Ok, people need to comment and vote on the poll. Seriously people...? You're going to discourage the awesome rants from flowing...

I have suffered a return volley in the Twilight War. My opponent's points can be seen here: http://pinkhairblog.blogspot.com/

One of her points is that Twilight encourages reading. I must acknowledge her point. On the other hand, if we encourage the reading stupidity and crap, we only fill heads with stupidity and crap. How does that help us? There is plenty of stupidity and crap posing as literature, we don't need to encourage people who are not that bright to be dumber. That might be half the problem with the world.

Her second point concerns Twilight's depiction of relationships. I do not agree. Possibly Edward acts in a respectful, self-sacrificial, and committed way, but Bella is basically a whiny teenager. A whiny teenager is supposed to grow up before she is allowed to have the man of her dreams. If she doesn't the man of her dreams doesn't want her. That's part of why I wish that Edward had pulled a Rhett. "Frankly, my dear, YOU ARE A CLUMSY, WHINY PIECE OF CRAP AND I WAS JUST MESSING WITH YOU SO I COULD EMOTIONALLY CRUSH YOU BEFORE I EAT YOU AND I don't give a damn."

Finally, my opponent thinks that we, as a community, should respect Ms (Mrs? I assume it's Ms if she's writing romance, but it's not a requirement) Meyer for creating a huge fan base as a beginning novelist. We could do that... or we could cry for the poor souls of the world. If something as badly written as the Twilight saga can create a fan base this crazy and stupid, its really easy to see why horrible things happen. Obama gets elected, stupid immigration laws get passed, and even the TODAY show continues to air despite its dedication to making people stupider every morning. And its all made possible by the reducing of quality reading material and education. Thank you, Stephenie Meyer, for being a symbol of all that is wrong with this country and the world.

On a less depressing, but similar, note: Have you seen the movie Superbad? It is terrifying to me that a movie that was so utterly dirty and plain irreverent was so freakin` hilarious. Don't get me wrong, irreverent and dirty humor are the kinds of things I like in a movie, but Superbad doesn't just throw it out there. They load it into a Gatling machine gun and rapid fire it at you for a good hour/ hour and a half, take a minute to resolve the emotional denouement and to reload, then open fire again until the end. I literally had to stop and rewind about 10 minutes because I was still processing the grossness and oddness of the 38th joke (estimated; it was pretty bad) when they hit the 97th. Craziness. Also, those cops would so be fired...

Perhaps this is what's wrong with America even above Twilight.... Nah. That sounds like quitter talk and we all know I'm winning the war. Bwahahaha!

I have good news! My friend Nathaniel has a special lady friend! Whoohoo! Ha! I hope he reads this and blushes. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I'm going to catch a little sleep before church. `Night!

Official Declaration of What Shall be Known as The Twilight War. Also, a Rant on the Church (with minor profanity)

I have been challenged. That's right. Challenged. By the very inspiration for this blog. Jenna, I have one thing to say to you. IT IS SO ON!

For those who don't know, Jenna is my brother's girlfriend. I thought we were friends. However, she has decided to tell me that she likes Twilight. That's right... What is an even greater travesty is that Jenna has, in the past, told me that she hates Shakespeare! *cue gasps of horror* I know right?!

So now I must declare war. War upon Twilight, Jenna, and all other fans of perversions of the English language in the name of Truth, Justice, The American Way, and Literature!

As the first volley in the Twilight wars, I will point out that the entire series is a 14 year old girl's wet dream. This is why every person who has liked it that I have known is female, gay, or extremely effeminate. While there is nothing wrong with these things, it is well known fact that these people are a) usually hopeless romantics with no idea of how a healthy relationship is created (but are usually better at maintaining one, go figure) b) easily manipulated emotionally and c) often terrible judges of men. Therefore it stands to reason that they would have no idea how a 200+ year old vampire would actually act and would find Edward Cullen believable, they would find Bella an annoying enough figure that they could hate her and replace her in their fantasies quite easily thereby increasing their enjoyment of the "book", and they would not understand that the vampire is not supposed to be a sparkly, emotional douchebag, but a terrifying, yet charming predator akin to Dracula or Lestat. Oh, and no 200+ vampire would ever set foot in high school again. Not happening.

Now that I have my opening shots we'll move on to other business. I hate FINALS! Actually, I have a love/hate relationship with them. They are a symbol of the end of the semester, but they are also the single most stressful thing about college. Except maybe figuring out what you want to do with your life. Maybe. Most of my life has been consumed by studying for said finals, but I have managed to interact with some of my friends. While studying. *sigh* yeah I hate finals...

On the plus side, Charlsie is about to graduate high school! WOOT! I'm really proud of how she's doing. She wasn't the greatest of students when I met her, but now she is better than me. Go figure... She is SUPER excited about going to live with my parents for the summer with me. We're also planning on meeting up with my brother Robert at his house for a couple of weeks too. He lives in the buttcrack of nowhere, but he's awesome enough to make visiting him one of the best times of my life.

My parents are moving... again. I haven't told you this, but I hate introducing myself. People always ask the question that is weirdest to answer for me. "Where are you from?" I don't know how to answer because I've moved so much in my life. I'm not sure about the count but I know I've lived in 5 states and have moved every year of my high school career except senior year and about every two years before middle school. Why you ask? Its a complicated answer having to do with my dad's jobs and what he wants to do with his life, which I will rant about when I'm done describing my weirdness. Because we've moved so much, the only answer which makes any sense is to say "The U.S." or something equally vague and flippant and hope nobody asks for details.

Anyway, the reason we moved so much is partially because my dad had trouble deciding what he wanted to do with his life, and partially because of the job he picked. I'm not positive what he did before I remember, but I know he worked some food jobs and went to college. I remember, very vaguely, when he and Mom decided to be house parents at a children's home in Oklahoma. If you don't know a children's home is where they send problem kids that need foster homes and they are usually faith based. They did that for a while, but then we moved back to Tulsa my sister was born, then we went to a children's home in Texas and Jake was born there. This was also where we met Robert and my epic hatred of him began. We moved back to Tulsa and Mom and Dad both got jobs dealing with children and mental health at different places. They worked late a lot of the time so I spent my time with my Grandma. Eventually, dad applied for a youth minister position at our church but wasn't hired. Somebody told him about a bible college in Denver, Colorado and Dad decided to go. Whoopee... We were there for the two years that the course took, Robert moved in with us fresh from jail and we had epic sibling rivalry, then Dad got a job as a youth minister in New Mexico. Robert ended up going to the same preaching school and I matured enough that we actually began to like each other. Then Joe came along and we had to move again. This time we moved to Denver and Dad got a job at the church who runs the preaching school. That was great for a while, but eventually Dad was stabbed in the back by the church and we had to leave. We went to Arkansas, but Dad got screwed by the church here too. Now he's being screwed by the church in Oklahoma where he works.

There's my life story in a paragraph. I don't tell you this to make you pity me or anything. I just think that it is important you understand where I'm coming from when you read this next rant.

The church is corporate bullshit. That being said, I do not want anyone to think that I have changed my views on God or the Bible. I simply believe that the church, as a result of being exposed to America, has been corrupted and become a corporation. This has resulted in political atmospheres in church that people like my father, principled and genuinely good, are ill equipped to deal with, and result in good men either playing the fence and not saying what must be said, or speaking out against it and getting the crap beat out of them by both sides.

The reason that the church is dying has nothing to do with dwindling numbers, a shift in the beliefs of the population, left-wing media, right-wing media, UFO's, the Gay Agenda, the Socialist Agenda, Communism, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, or anything except the fact that the church has allowed itself to be corrupted and rot from the inside out. They are unchanging and obsessed with the acquisition of their stupid little power structures that have no bearing outside of a single building.

The simple solution is to get rid of the symbol of corporate corruption. The church building. The church does not need a building. The entire point of the church is the spreading of the gospel, not the gathering of people into one place. What better way to spread the word than with joyful singing waking up the neighbors every Sunday morning and happy people swarming the neighborhoods? What better way is there to free up money to do good things for the community that eliminating the church's utility and maintenance costs? If you have a better idea, I'd love to hear it, but I don't think you will find one.

I apologize for the epic length of this post, but these are things I felt I needed to get off my chest. Plus I had to declare war. I'll not waste more of your time with amusing graphs this time, but I hope that you will read and think about what I've written. I'd love to hear comments.

More Graphs! Oh Yeah, and I Rant About Twilight Sucking in this One.

Hello any loyal readers I still have. So I haven't posted very much lately. Sorry about that. If you guys commented more I'd probably be in a mood more often. A lot of times I feel like I'm just talking to a wall here... By the way, if any of you actually read the post about the lecture, I'd really like to know what you thought about what the guy said, if I was a crappy summarizer, or if you have questions. If not, well ok then. Ha ha!

My week has been BORING! No awkward bathroom situations, no random walking in on Brandon doing something weird, and, worst of all, no random T.V. shows inducing rants! Just classes and the occasional unremarkable joke. *sigh* On the plus side, I've been somewhat productive this week. I've started working on a paper at least 2 weeks before its due, I'm studying like a nerd for history, and I'm even considering going to the library to study with *gasp* other people *cue "Twilight Zone Theme"*

So is it weird that typing "Twilight" a minute ago triggered an instinctive gag reflex? The correct answer is NO! The Twilight books are wastes of paper that are not worth wiping my ass with. *gasp at curse word from stage left* You heard me. I can say this with all necessary vehemence now because I was forced, with the threat of never kissing me again, to read all four pathetic, appalling, and more-disgusting-than-ball-sweat uses of the English language by Charlsie. You may now form an angry mob and surround her house. Oh and I don't care how brooding, broken, and sparkly he is! A 200+ old vampire would never fall in love with a pathetic waste of flesh like that girl! She is far too immature. She is far too stupid. She causes way too many problems. She is his food. Sorry folks, I can't deal with women my age most days and there is no way a mature vampire would either. Especially when he could eat her and put everyone, including the put-upon boyfriends forced to read that garbage, out their misery.

Ok. Now that I've bashed Twilight, how about some graphs? No? Anyone? Too bad.


Ok. Charlsie better love this one. It has two of her favorite music people on it, and the other two I'm pretty sure she likes/would like. I personally just put this here for her. It was only mildly amusing to me, but I don't have the emotions invested in these bands some people do.


This... is... so...true... Except for the teenage girl part. I have no experience with that. I know that when I started listening to rock and/or heavy metal, my Mom and Dad sat me down and had a serious talk with me about the kind of messages I was listening to. It was absolutely hilarious. This is the first time I remember smarting off to my parents and not getting hit in the back of the head for it. Its probably not, but its the first I remember. Basically I said, "Don't the old rock and country songs you listen to have a lot of drinking, partying, and cheating on spouses in them? Besides, most of the metal bands I'm listening to have strong messages against suicide, drinking, and have strong Christian overtones (not so true anymore but it was at the time)." speechless parents= Most... fun... ever! Anyway, I now listen to lots of music and have not once felt the urge to eat a baby. The others maybe but that happened a lot before I was even off of "wheels on the bus". Except the teenage girl thing. Only felt that urge when I realized that being a dude sucks. It went away 13 and 1/2 seconds later when I realized being a girl sucks even worse. Situation= dude getting treated terribly by a girl followed by her screaming in pain because of her period.

So those are my music related graphs. I hope you enjoyed. And what is the deal with airline food anyway?